Thursday, February 4, 2010

Quiet Thursday

The space heater is right up against my black slacks, almost burning my left leg. I can't move it though, or I will start to get cold again. The air around me is cold, and the halls are quiet. I hear each one of the residents unlock the door, entering the building and as they walk by my office, they half heartily smile and wave. It is kind of a lonely day. Usually I get some visitors that stop by and chat, but today I only had my friend drop by. Just one visitor...slightly odd. The hallways are quiet. No sounds of music cascading through the halls, which isn't normal for this building. Everyone that lives in this vintage, 1900's building is so talented and usually their music and voices echo through the building. Not today.

These feelings usually keep me a little upbeat, but today I am feeling like crawling up to my 5th floor apartment and curling up under a blankets, all alone. It is a very weird thing how those sounds around have almost become my comfort. I prefer those sounds over a lover or company at times, they almost make me feel whole.

I'm quite sure this dreary weather has something to do with the quietness. It is just barely 5:00pm and the clouds are out and grey coloring fills the air. There is no rain, but it feels as though its pouring. Very few people have walked past my office today and no package deliveries. I have looked at my desk a million times trying to figure out something to do. I continually work on the web page for work, I post rental ads, and I try to think of lyrics to work on with Albert this weekend.

My mind is a bit blank though. The quietness around seems to be suffocating my thoughts. I am not even thinking about my past dates, my friends difficult situations, work, or much of anything. I wouldn't call this feeling I am having peaceful because it is more of a feeling of having nothing. It is almost like being in a room full of pictures, people laughing and talking, mingling, food, dancing, a colorful room; and then suddenly, everything that filled that room is gone. The room is empty.

No comments: