Friday, May 14, 2010

The Outsider

From the day you entered my life I was destined to be the outsider,
You took away my life, my heart, my strength,
everything about you reeks of greed.

You claimed us as your own, changed our name, changer 'our' ways,
You made us yours and kept us under your command for years.

I was afraid to change, to be me, to explore, to be free,
You made me this way.

No one saw what I saw,
yet I accepted you and loved you and probably always will.

No one sees what I see,
The hurt, pain, neglect, and shame you put on us.

No one feels what I feel,
Distant, alone, separated, hurt.

You did this to us and to me,
yet I don't blame you,
I only keep wishing for the day you will pick up the phone and call,
The day you will apologize for what you have done,
The day you will grow up and become an adult and realize your faults.

Your faults don't make you a bad person, and it's ok to admit you have them,
What makes you a bad person is the blame you put on everyone around.

You blame me for the past, for the present, for the future,
You forget all the things I have done to get me where I am,
All the things I have endured,
The tears, the blood, the pain, the rejections.
All the other people that you want to accept you,
They all get your attention,
but those who have accepted you from day one,
Get turned away and put down,
Left to be forgotten.

I have chosen to let go,
I'm tired of holding on to you,
Tired of pretending that you will see who I am and love me for me,
I'm tired of feeling worthless and unsatisfied with myself.
Maybe one day you will see what you lost.

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