"He is just not that into you Lindsay"

11:45, I receive a text from a friend of mine:

Friend: Hey you awake?

Me: yes, what's up?

Friend: umm..well...I think I may be locked out. And guess who has my spare?

Me: Ok are you in the building now?

Friend: Ya...I'm going to look for my key out in my sisters care...but I may need a couch to crash on?

Me: ok or I can get you a key out of my office lol

Friend: OH that's right for some reason I thought u didn't have one but duhhh how would you do utility reads. haha, Hopefully I will find it and not need your help. How are you? Whats the word on *man I am dating*?

Me: ugh idk we haven't texted in two days havent talked in four, I dont get him

Friend: Ugh Lindsay I'm afraid he' just not that into you. I was reading that book today. I

realized it about my boyfriend too. UGGGGHHH

WOW! I think she is right...He isn't that into me, because like the books states; "he's just not that into you if he's not calling you". Wait, actually I can fit this dating relationship into TWO chapters. Title number two is; "he's just not that into you if he' not asking you out". So basically my dating life with this man has been addressed in the first two chapters of this book...wonderful!

So after reading introduction to chapter one and two, she so thoughtfully picture mailed me, and thinking to myself it's true; I came to my senses and realized, "wtf am I doing?" These signs are signs all girls should know and if they don't well then they are dumb so why do I keep calling him. Even though for me it feels like it is worth it, it obviously isn't worth it to him, so Lindsay, leave him be and move on!

And, I am doing just that :)!

The Fedex Man

So I have been working at The Dover for about 3 months. I have seen many different delivery guys come through day to day delivering packages. There is this one particular man that works for Fedex that comes by my office daily. It just started randomly. He would come in to drop off a package and chat with me, and then it turned into him just coming in to see me, no package in hand. Now it has recently turned into a daily drop by during breaks to chat.

He asked me today what my type of guy was. So I briefly explained what I liked in a man, but refraining from any major details. He has often asked me to do lunch with him or asks if we could work in some cuddle time during a movie and I just laugh. He is very good looking though. Darker skin, kind of scruffy, cute New York accent, and very funny personality. He makes it fun to flirt and it makes me blush that he comes in so often to see me.

He asks me new questions every day and the fact that someone is trying so hard to get my attention makes me smile. It seems like most men I date leave me in charge to pursue them and that just is no fun. I am not expecting some guy to crawl after me and I am not asking someone to go out of their way everyday for me but it is just impressive when someone does. It makes you rethink the guys you have been dating or chasing after.

I think the smoothest line he used on me was today. We were talking about when he moved here and how he wants to move back to New York and said, "well maybe you can make me want to stay." I just laughed and blushed a bit, because it was the cheesiest line I have ever heard. It was still fun though. The fedex guy...

Pike Street for Lunch

Seattle makes me feel so comfortable. I am not sure what it is about this city but it just feels right sometimes. There are times when it's cloudy and chilly, and all I want is sun; but I love the the people the swarm the city. Today for lunch my roommate and I went down to Pike St. for lunch. We decided to have lunch at a little hot dog stand, and of course didn't have cash. My immediate thought was that the hot dog man would be rude and ask us to come back when we got money, but I was wrong. He was so sweet about the situation, directing us to the bank of America while he state, "Tell me what you two ladies want and it will be ready for you when you get back."

We ran off the to the Bank of America, pulled out our money and dashed back. We both were chatting up about how nice the hot dog man was. We got back he asked if we wanted grilled onions and our spicy sausages were ready. Which by the was were absolutely delicious. They were a light red, Louisiana sausage on a large bun, overflowing with onion and spicy mustard. As I reach over to put more mustard on, my nice, black high heels get caught in the grate surrounding the hot dog stand. My roommate laughed at me as I stood on my tip toes, and the hot dog man made a comment about getting caught so I could spend the day with him selling hot dogs.

As I got ready to tiptoe my way out of the grate, a lady stopped me to take a picture of my situation. I laughed a little and I tried to stand as still as a statue so she could get a shot of my nice shoes being practically entangled in metal. It was almost so natural for all of us around to laugh and smile at the situation. This is one of the many things I love about Seattle. Not everyone is as relaxed and friendly but it seems like there are a lot more down to earth people in this city and these people in Seattle are the reason I enjoy the city the most.

Love in Movies and Love in Reality

Little girls are raised on movies like Cinderella and Beauty and the Beast, brought up to believe that true love exists and there is "the one". As a little girl gets old the theme never really changes the movies just mature. We start getting movies like How to Lose a Guy in 10 days and P.S. I Love You. Our expectations become outrageous and we start to think that love should be the way movies portray love and that there is "the perfect man". Just saying "perfect man" makes me laugh. There is no such thing as perfection and through dating, I have realized that those that try to be perfect make me bored and uninterested. You are who you are! Why hide it and pretend to be something you aren't only to later on disappoint this other man or woman that you gave false hopes to.

Love seems to be something that is determined through time and growth with another person. A feeling of belonging with that person, someone you think about often, and cant wait to hear from. These feelings can dwindle and can fade but with some work you can make it strong and keep the love going, you can honestly make almost anything work if both parties are willing to make it try. Love isn't a happy ending or a happily ever after, no one finds that knight in shinning armour or princess. We created these story out of lustful feelings, giving people the feeling that there is something better out there for them.

You can meet someone who makes you feel something that no one has made you feel before. You can meet someone who makes you nervous, someone who gives you butterflies. Someone you feel like you could spend your life with, or most of you life with happily. Then something changes or things become confusing. They say one thing but act another way. It makes love difficult to figure out, and in a smaller perspective it makes someones outlook on a relationship more complicated.

I had a conversation with a good friend of mine. We were talking about the movie The Notebook. She explained to me that after watching it, she felt that she wasn't in love with her husband anymore. Not blaming the movie so much but feeling that her relationship had so many flaws and so little love. Maybe these movies help remind us of how love used to be, before you could meet someone online with a click of your mouse, or before technology took over peoples lives. People back then seemed to really love and stay together longer than people in our times do. Not that it was better then, and not that there aren't people now that love like that. I think that's actually what makes it harder for someone not to believe these movies, because love that is in these movies, well, it does exist in real life. People do fall head over heels in love and would do anything for the person they have these feelings for. People long for that look, that feeling. I know I do. As much as I find these movies and love stories to be so cliche and fake, I like everyone else, believe they can exist. I believe you can find someone that makes you feel a certain way and makes you want to open up your heart and explore life with and possibly be with forever. I have felt this way, I wont disclose when or where or who, but I have.

Someone who makes you not want anyone else, someone who makes you only want them.

The Dating World

As I dip my feet into the dating world I am learning that I don't like it at all! It is so redundant and seems like a car crash waiting to happen. Every guy I date has something that I just can't stand. I am sure having been married and then always in some type of relationship, I have learned what I like and what I don't like. I can definitely say I am not willing to settle for someone who isn't confident with who they are and what they have in life.

I think the most frustrating thing about dating is my new outlook on men. I feel like most of them are after one thing, S.E.X. I am not interested in that at all and when you turn someone down it can end with two situations. Number one being that they don't call you back because they are upset they got shut down, or number two they pursue you harder even if you aren't interested they keep coming back.

Ok, ok I always knew that sex was something that most men, even woman, were focused on; I just never knew that it would be almost every guy I have dated. It's like no one wants to wait until the 3rd or 4th or even 20th date before they kiss or try to have sex. People seem to not be concerned about STD's or even getting to know the person. The person across the table from me knows nothing about who I am or what I do, and likewise me for them. I hear my guy friends tell me, "if you wait to have sex they will keep dating you, it is like a test. If you give in early then they stop calling because they either know you are easy or they got what they were after." This makes me laugh, a test! Men test woman with their penis?!? WOW! I'm not impressed!

Right now, I seem to have every guy I'm not interested in wanting me and every guy I am interested in not being interested in me. It really is a vicious cycle that I wish could end at some point, although, I don't think I really want a relationship. I have been single for about a year and I really enjoy the single life. I don't have the responsibility of checking in with anyone, I don't have to stress about someone elses life. All I have to worry about is me and my son. It's very rejuvenating and empowering.

I think the most interesting part of being single and dating is the advice my friends give me. I hear things like; "He is shady Lindsay, kick him to the curb!" "He is so controlling do you really want that?" "Oh you should meet my friend you two would be so good together!" "Men suck!". It really makes me laugh some of the advice I have been given, and I have to pick and choose which advice is good for me and which "words of wisdom" I would do better ignoring. Sometimes the advice I am given really helps though. I mean the opposite sex is so very confusing. I find myself analyzing every situation, every little detail, trying to figure out what he meant when he said he had to go to that bathroom in the middle of our conversation. It's quite ridiculous! I am not sure if this is something I am doing because I haven't dated in forever, or if I am just doing it because that's who I am.

I think the best advice I was given but am still trying to figure out how to use it was, " Lindsay stop thinking so hard about it, you are going to push yourself away thinking the worst when it isn't. Just relax and have fun." Maybe, one day, I will figure this out. Until then I am going to take my over analyzing ass back to the dating world a few more times and see if anything falls in my lap that is worth a second date.