Monday, March 30, 2009

I feel lost in my state of confusion

Constantly I feel like I know the choices I should be making with the situation I am in, but i find myself confused and unsure of how to take those steps. I feel as though if I stay on this path, people will see this person I could be and see pieces of who I really am, but if I take the path I know I should take then I can let myself be me and really shine. It just seems so much harder then the words I speak and think. I know life isn't easy, but choices that involves others well beings seem to be the hardest choices to make. A choice that would crush someones world for a few months or longer but could open doors for everyone in the situation.

I wish it could be simple, and I know that wont happen, and at times I wish others would make this choice for me, it would be easier. I know everyone must see it, and I feel like I can be fake because I had behind this wall of fear and blame that I don't let myself open up to many. This confusion is driving me crazy, and these emotions are making me want to scream. I know in time, life will figure itself out, I just wish I knew how long this would be.

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