Saturday, March 28, 2009

So I met my real dad for the first time Yesterday.

OK, so for those of you who don't know my story, I was adopted when I was 7 and had never met or knew much about my dad. I tried looking when I was seven and found nothing. My parents weren't very supportive of this search (although they will argue that they were.) Then, now being 22, I decided to try again. I started without knowing his last name and only vaguely remembering his first name. I probed family a bit and finally my grandma was able to tell me his last name.
I still remember getting that text on my way to my Spanish class. I was like who is that...then I just realized, "wow, that's my dad". The whole night in class all did was think about finding him. I was working with someone to find him and once I gave him his name we found him quickly and finally made contact with him. The first e-mail sent was a bit awkward because i wasn't sure what to say.
I am Lindsay and i have kind of a weird thing to ask you but, I think I might be
your daughter. I was born in 1986, in Bountiful, Utah. Sorry to bother you if I am
After that e-mail I received one shortly after explaining that I could possibly be, and that he was excited to get to know me and learn if I was. We e-mailed back and forth for a few days before I finally worked up the courage to call him.
Our first phone conversation lasted hours and it left me hoping that he really was my dad, but we agreed to get a paternity test just to be 100% sure.
Through this I had explained to my family what was going on, and although half of them were very optimistic, a few of them (which i will exclude names out of respect for them) didn't understand and felt as though I was making a stupid decision. In fact they have completely stopped talking to me. I felt a bit hurt and confused if this was that right thing to do, but i really do and I think it is important to who I am. So if they can't support me or have decided to not be a part of my life, then I guess I have to deal with that choice and move on.
Finally, yesterday was the first day I met him. It was quite nerve racking for a while, I mean someone who is biologically related to you and you have never met them. It's like a part of you that has been hidden and all the sudden is right in front of your face. I chose the place I felt pretty comfortable to go, Goodwood, I have many close friends that work there and it was a way to stay kind of public so that I didn't look like I wasn't interested in meeting him. Usually when I get nervous I don't talk much, and I didn't, which I feel horrible, but I think he could understand. I looked around and ate and thoughts were constantly flying through my mind.
He is a very neat guy and I have learned we have a lot more in common than I ever thought we would. I am happy I did this, and I hope in the end this will be a good relationship that him and I can build. I hope to keep him as a part of my life, if he is wanting to be in it. It is scary, though. It is almost like meeting someone you feel a certain bond with but then trying to figure out how you have this bond.

One word that constantly sits in my head is WOW. I just can't believe i finally did it.
If you have any questions ask away :)

1 comment:

Jennifer P. said...

I saw the comments on Facebook about meeting your Dad and wondered what it was all about. I think that is just amazing! I'm sorry your family isn't more supportive---clearly your love for them and the work they put into raising you will never be replaced by wanting to know who your biological father. My dad passed away when I was only 4 and I've heard all my life how like him I am--I would have loved to have a chance to meet him and see for myself. It's a wonderful opportunity you had and I hope it fills a little gap inside you!

All the best to you (and keep enjoying your Spring Break!)