Friday, September 4, 2009

holding your life in my hand

I hate this feeling. I hate when my heart feels like its bleeding for you because I'm scared you will do something to end your life. You call yourself worthless and a piece of shit. I don't know what to do to show you that you are more than that. I am sorry we didn't work out, but you are not nothing. You make me fear for you and you make me wish we had never been, even though some of the best times i have ever had were with you. I feel like you are being selfish holding on to me and selfish making me hurt for you. Its not fair to make me worry that you will end your life. You know i love you with all my heart, and I know deep inside you know we didn't work but you keep on making me feel guilty and you keep me worrying for you .

Today you at 1 am you texted me telling me how worthless you were and didn't pick up your phone when I called. You wont tell me what the fuck is going on. All i hear from everyone is how depressed you are and all I hear from you is how much you can't live without me. What do i do, I cant take your stress I cant take this feeling like I'm a horrible person. I seriously feel like my life is falling apart more and more because I am so damn worried about you ending your life.

Please get help, please realize who you are and how amazing you are. Stop accusing me, and stop making me feel like the only way to make you live is to be with you!

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