Wednesday, February 25, 2009

finding something

Today I found something that was just amazing to me. Something that gave me the biggest smile and something that almost made my life see so much more full. I am hoping that this doesn't all go the wrong way in the end, but I feel very confident. My one problem is how do you tell someone who has been in your life since birth and cared for you since birth this amazing thing you found and have them feel just as happy as you?

I can already see the tears, sadness, and the fear. The fear of losing the one person that has been in her life when times got hard and when times were great. She wont lose me but I can understand why she might feel like she might lose me. How do I even start this conversation? How should I begin?

I dialed her number today and held my breath until it got to her answering machine and then I hung up taking a big sigh of relief. I don't know why I was relieved when I should been even more stressed because that means I need to tell her another day. I just have no idea how to present the idea or the situation to her in a way that will help her understand my choice as well as my happiness. I have support from everyone around me but I need her support, and I need her love.

I'm so scare and the more I think about what she will say, the more scared I get. I guess I will just have to keep going and hope for her support and if i don't get it, then realize I still love her the same, regardless.

1 comment:

Jennifer P. said...

Wishing only good things for you Lindsay! I can literally feel the corner you are about to turn!