Lonely

Sometimes people can make you feel empty and alone,
like they aren't listening, like they don't care.

Often times you can have a passenger in your car,
but feel as though you are driving alone on a dark road.

You can be walking down streets filled with people,
and not hear a sound.

Every word spoken is hollow, meaningless, and dead.
It's cold and harmless but still hurtful.

...

Then you begin to not listen to them,
You block out their words and their ideas,
You just want to be alone,
and feel as though you have for so long...so alone...for so long.

You dangle on the thought of their being more,
more love, more warmth, more compassion...
But you are alone and so are they,
even when you are right next to each other,
you both are so alone.

Invisible Neglected Supporter

Sometimes she feels like the invisible supporter,
She is always there, supporting and lending an ear,
and when they ask for advice she gives it.

Sometimes when the table is turned,
There is no one there to support her,
She feels alone, unwanted.

She watches people choose these bad people,
these bad choices, over good choices and it hurts her,
it hurts her to see them fail, continually.
Even though they could pick the great potential choices,
they choose the ones that bring them down.

She tries to close her eyes, hide the bad, see past them.
She can't ever get "past them".
They are a part of her and always will be.
People tell her to separate herself from them,
"it's not your life, it's not your worry"
but regardless of what they say,
she continues to care.

She knows there has to be a point where she lets go,
She moves on,
She lets them have their life with out letting it destroy hers,
will she, can she find it?

Bad Days

Bad days are like car crashes at the end of a great day,
It's like the world stops moving for the brief second,
and the only thing you can see is negative situation,
nothing else.

Bad days wrap around your mind,
intermingling itself through out your blood cells,
controlling your body, your thoughts, your ideas.

Sometimes, bad days blind you,
Forcing you only to see the bad.
You walk past all the good and walk past all the beauty,
only seeing dark.

The bad days can make choices harder to make,
they can make the day seem long and endless,
and at times you will feel like the world is against you,
like no one care about you,
or even wants to help you.

Bad days suck, and the only way past them is the next day,
and hoping that the next day will be a good day.
I hope tomorrow will be a better day!

Him

He is on my mind all the time and I cant stand him. He makes me so angry, he is so selfish and so rude. He pulled me in, he said the sweetest things to me and then he just slapped me in the face. It was like a few months of happiness and excitement for nothing. He pretends to know me, know what I am about, but he doesn't. Then he say in a sarcastic tone, "you think you're unique and different like everyone else?" Well I am and, yes, so is everyone else. We are all different and we all deserve some respect regardless of our education, background, race, or sex. We are all people.

He did show me some things even if I hate him. He showed me what it was like to be looked at, I mean really looked at. He watched me, and he told me what he thought was beautiful about me. He made me believe he really thought I was graceful, beautiful, and special.

He is selfish, and self centered. He fears stepping out of his own box to see what is out there, but then he accuses me of doing the same thing. So hypocritical, so two faced. He gets me steamed up and angry at times, making me tell him things that I don't feel comfortable telling, but he has never opened up to me. He discusses personal issues in my life that are none of his business but he refuses to do the same.

As much as I enjoy spending time with him, holding him, kissing him, enjoying his company, having a beer with him, holding his hand, laughing with him.....I hate him. I hate how he makes me feel. I hate what he does to me. Our last conversation made me hate him the most. It is like he doesn't care about what the other person is about or how he treats them as long as the outcome works in his favor. As long as he feels satisfied with the outcome. He doesn't apologize and he doesn't care. That's fine, I don't care either, I just wish I knew he was like that because I would have not cared sooner than I did. I just need to get him out of my head because he he set in his ways and is who he is. I don't expect him to change, but I want someone who respects me, someone who will want me. He could never do those things, even if I wish he could.