The Last Two Days

It overwhelms me,
The people around me are opening my eyes,
Who can you trust anymore,
And is there such thing as love,
I don't know know that I believe there is.

Heartbreak, sadness, loneliness...
deceit, infidelity, spiteful...

You people break down our walls,
We open up,
We let you in,
And then when it all comes crashing down,
You leave us there and blame us.

We are better without you though,
We will push on,
We will be happy,
We deserve better,
And you are nothing to us anymore.

Selfish, hurtful, and now single.
You will never find happiness until you fix who you are,
And you will never be with anyone and until you open your eyes,
And learn to respect the ones that treat you right.

Who Are You?

Messages sent from an unusual number,
Familiarity with the sequence,
I know who you are but can't put a face or name to you,
You seem distant, yet close.
You fail to reveal who you are.

You dodge obvious questions,
and reply less often with the simplest answers,
There is love in your messages,
Love and Respect.

Who are you?
What do you mean to me?
Why wont you tell me?

The words I read dance in my mind.
Skipping around too quickly for me to catch.
I just want to remember,
Why have I blocked you out?
There must be some reason...
Even though you deny ever hurting me.

I continue to question,
eventually giving up and saying goodbye,
leaving one more guess open.
Maybe I can figure you out...
Maybe you are waiting for me to figure you out...

Us And The World

The world can sometimes be a horrible place.
People disrespect the ones they love.
Instead of helping by sending money to pay rent and bills, they wait until the other person blows their head off then spends that money to fly down and bury the person.
You see lovers beating each other, abandoning each other, hating each other, but staying together.

People don't ever really LISTEN anymore, they just hear.
People don't really SEE anymore, they just look.
WE THE PEOPLE, look past all the beauty in the world to the thing we want.
We take for granted the things we need to survive.

We give up on people and take words too seriously, or not seriously enough.
There is never a middle ground anymore, we separate ourselves from the world all together.
We all want to be different than who we really are.
We want to be prettier, skinner, have bigger boobs.
Different jobs, cars, houses, lovers, ect.

We NEVER really try anymore.
Divorce is an easy word now, we throw it around like a baseball.
Sex is hardly about passion or love, it is revolved around lust, desire, or need.

And LOVE, love is not usually enjoyed or held on to.
We hardly call or visit our children, parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles anymore.
Our lives are more important.
And, instead of making a 5 to 10 minute phone call to just say "hi, I love you", we flip on the TV or pop in a video game.

We have forgotten about the important things in life, and we forgot to enjoy life.
And we don't live forever!

2am Heartbeat

As we stand here, I'm wrapped in your arms,

it's 2am as you're holding me near,
believe it or not I wish time would stop,
I've never had anyone make me feel this way,

You're amazing, You're like the stars in the sky
As you hold me on this January night,
You're amazing, youre the light in my life, as you stand here by my side

You ask to keep me, but I'm already yours,
since the first day I saw you looking at me,
Thats the day I never wanted to say goodbye.
Because you were already mine.

You're amazing, You're like the stars in the sky, As you hold me on this January night, You're amazing, you're the light in my life, as you stand here by my side.

You stole my heart from that first minute. You said you'd do anything to prove everyone wrong. cause I was worth it and you're worth this song. So lets burn like hell until our fire is gone.

I guess regardless of whatever comes next you are amazing and I'll never forget,The night you you held me at 2am, you kissed my forehead, I wished it would never end.

Yes you're amazing, and I'll always be yours, and I've never had anyone, make me feel this way.

It never gives

She sits there constantly trying to reason with herself and continuing to be with him. He drags her down by cheating, lying, and verbal abuse. Yet, she continues stay. It's the same story on a different day. His lies never change, he never tries, but she keeps coming back. He picks at her insecurities, making her feel so unimportant to where she feels like no one will accept her for who she is.

Even though she is beautiful and smart, she lets him treat her as though she is less. It will never give. She asks for advice she never plans to take, and she keeps letting herself go though the repeating circle.

She is blinded by their past and the so called "future". Even though everyone around can see his deceit, she tries to see past it and pushes on towards what they "could have". The sad thing is now she will never change because he wont allow her to. They will never change because he controls what they will be. He wont let anyone make the move because he has her king in check.

He shackled her before she could make any choices. He maneuvered himself in the drives seat and is riding their relationship on the edge, scaring her to where she doesn't want to leave, because she doesn't want to be alone. The truth is this story was done in the beginning.

Lyrics

So Albert and I have started a new venture, thanks to a new friend. We are going to start writing songs. I love to write and so I have been putting some lyrics together, I am going to post them on here as I write the songs, but I think it is such a good way for me to get my writing out in another way, not just my short stories. I'm pretty excited about it. It is very new for me.

No Title:

He tears her apart
He tears her down
He makes her
feel worthless

Chorus (2x's):
she wants to run away
She wants to get away
but she has no where to go



the water runs
drowning all the sounds below
she lives in fear
shes all alone



Chorus (2x's)

She doesn't know who she is
she is beautiful
but she will never know
when she stays with him



Chorus (2x's)

Love in Movies and Love in Reality

Little girls are raised on movies like Cinderella and Beauty and the Beast, brought up to believe that true love exists and there is "the one". As a little girl gets old the theme never really changes the movies just mature. We start getting movies like How to Lose a Guy in 10 days and P.S. I Love You. Our expectations become outrageous and we start to think that love should be the way movies portray love and that there is "the perfect man". Just saying "perfect man" makes me laugh. There is no such thing as perfection and through dating, I have realized that those that try to be perfect make me bored and uninterested. You are who you are! Why hide it and pretend to be something you aren't only to later on disappoint this other man or woman that you gave false hopes to.

Love seems to be something that is determined through time and growth with another person. A feeling of belonging with that person, someone you think about often, and cant wait to hear from. These feelings can dwindle and can fade but with some work you can make it strong and keep the love going, you can honestly make almost anything work if both parties are willing to make it try. Love isn't a happy ending or a happily ever after, no one finds that knight in shinning armour or princess. We created these story out of lustful feelings, giving people the feeling that there is something better out there for them.

You can meet someone who makes you feel something that no one has made you feel before. You can meet someone who makes you nervous, someone who gives you butterflies. Someone you feel like you could spend your life with, or most of you life with happily. Then something changes or things become confusing. They say one thing but act another way. It makes love difficult to figure out, and in a smaller perspective it makes someones outlook on a relationship more complicated.

I had a conversation with a good friend of mine. We were talking about the movie The Notebook. She explained to me that after watching it, she felt that she wasn't in love with her husband anymore. Not blaming the movie so much but feeling that her relationship had so many flaws and so little love. Maybe these movies help remind us of how love used to be, before you could meet someone online with a click of your mouse, or before technology took over peoples lives. People back then seemed to really love and stay together longer than people in our times do. Not that it was better then, and not that there aren't people now that love like that. I think that's actually what makes it harder for someone not to believe these movies, because love that is in these movies, well, it does exist in real life. People do fall head over heels in love and would do anything for the person they have these feelings for. People long for that look, that feeling. I know I do. As much as I find these movies and love stories to be so cliche and fake, I like everyone else, believe they can exist. I believe you can find someone that makes you feel a certain way and makes you want to open up your heart and explore life with and possibly be with forever. I have felt this way, I wont disclose when or where or who, but I have.

Someone who makes you not want anyone else, someone who makes you only want them.

Happiness

I find it sad that happiness can be found in separation and in parting ways. Those two words seem sad and distant. How does time change something so much so that it no longer is what it once was, and how does time pull two people apart from where they once started. I can see how this is the right thing and i can see how time has changed us both but it is hard to see when it started and how it happened. I know you think this is easy for me but it isn't. I know i will have days of loneliness and fear but i know that if you can be happy, i don't want to take anything away from you to get you where you need and want to be. I dont want to hold you back from who you are and all you could be. Regardless of what we go through and what else changes with us. I love you and will always keep you in my heart. You know more about me than most people know about me and i respect you completely.

complete

Like the snow falling to the ground around us, you have made my walls come down. You take away all of my regrets; if I wasn’t where I was now, I would have never had these feelings. You make me light up and I have never seen myself this way. I hope I’m not being deceived, and I hope this is not my imagination. You stepped into my life as a gift, and with that said, I will never forget you. You will always have a piece of me no matter what we go through. The world continues to turn and now I feel like I am turning with it…with you. Maybe one day we will both be happy, maybe one day we will both find love, and maybe one day we will both be complete.

He is the one

The snow settled on the hard, frozen ground. She softly brushed her hair away from her dark, ocean blue eyes and smiled. She had longed to hear his voice since the first time she saw him. Her stomach felt as though millions of butterflies were flying inside. She never felt this emotion before and she continued to try and tell herself this emotion isn’t real. How could someone so amazing exist in a world where she had felt so alone and helpless for years? How could one man complete her life? She took a deep breath as her faced glowed of affection and love. She dreamed to be in his arms and to hold him near. Her heart was beating heavily and she couldn’t hold back her emotions anymore. She closed her eyes, leaned forward to kiss his soft, tender lips. When she got ready to embrace his kiss she opened her eyes and he was gone. She sat up out of bed and looked around frantically for the man her heart longed to be with. She let herself fall to her pillows as she came to a realization…it was all just a dream.

Changing my life

Your words speak a true beauty to me that I have never had in my life.
I felt so lost until I met you.
You made me see myself again.
I forgot for so long who I was and I speak to you and remember the soul within me.
My whole body smiles and glows when I see you or speak with you.
I forget everything that worries me when you enter the room.
You amaze me and how you speak to my heart, and you may have no idea the impression you have made on me and my life will never be the same since I met you, and I don’t want it to.

Im Sorry!

I don’t want to lose this love, but I feel like it might be too much. You seem not to care for me anymore, I think we have lost our spark. I have tried to show you love and compassion and you seem to take it for granted. You are my one and only and have been for so long but after a while I got tired of trying and I am beginning to fall apart. I have come to the part where the record stops and the love fades away. I’m sorry you are hurt and that your heart is breaking, that is not my intention. My heart broke a long time ago, and I never wanted you to feel that pain. I am sorry it came to this, I am sorry we have to part. I just want you to be happy and I just want you to be true to who you are. If I’m not the one I want you to know I understand and will always love you and be here for you.